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This article covers the transcript for the season 4 episode My Dinner with Bobo.



[The scene cuts to the Mission Bay Auto Mall, where Drake, Josh and Megan are looking for a car]

Josh: [chuckles] Alright, let me look for a sale...

Megan: [looks at a yellow VW Beetle with tattooed flowers] Oh my god, I love this car! Let's buy this one!

Drake: [to Josh] Uh, shall we harmonize?

Josh: Let's.

Drake and Josh: [singing] No!

Megan: Dad said I can help pick out the car.

Drake: [walks up to her] Uh yes, and thank you for helping us decide we're not getting this one.

Megan: [points at him] Don't push me.

[The owner of the lot, Stan the Car Man, pulls up to the siblings in a cart]

Stan the Car Man: [dismounts from his cart] Well now, [chuckles] let me guess! You folks are looking for a car.

Josh: Hey, you're Stan the Car Man.

Stan the Car Man: The very same.

Josh: I know, I love your commercials. [imitates Stan] You need a car, you need a truck, you need a van! Come see Stan the Car Man!

Drake: Who also sells trucks and vehicles.

Stan the Car Man: [unimpressed] I don't like it when people imitate me.

Josh: I'm sorry.

Drake: I'm also sorry. [points to an approaching orangutan] Hey, Bobo! Aw, I love this guy! [picks up Bobo]

Stan the Car Man: He seems to have taken a liking to you too!

Drake: Aw, he's awesome.

Megan: Yeah, maybe he can tutor you in math.

Stan the Car Man: How much were you boys hoping to spend on this vehicle?

Drake: About $2400.

Stan the Car Man: $2400. About what car did you had in mind?

Josh: Something safe.

Drake: Something fast.

Josh: Gets good mileage.

Drake: It's gotta have satellite radio.

Josh: Heated seats would be nice.

Stan the Car Man: Huh?

Josh: I get cold down there!

Megan: Look, no one is interested in your butt temperature problems.

Josh: Dr. Fishbaum is.

Drake: [to Stan] Look, can you just show us something we can afford?

Stan the Car Man: Well, I surely can. Right over there!

Josh: Alright.

Drake: Come on. [walks away with Josh]

Stan the Car Man: [to Megan] Butt temperature problems?

Megan: He's a mess. [walks away with Stan]


[The scene cuts to the living room, where Megan is at the table, on her laptop. Drake and Josh rush into the house, ecstatically screaming and dancing]

Megan: Hey! Can you two boob it down a little bit? I'm trying to do my homework.

Drake: Uh, you might wanna change your attitude and start acting a little nicer to us.

Josh: That's right, little girl!

Megan: Why would I want to be nice to you?

Drake: Uh, because we happen to be... [shows Megan the check] thousandaires!

Megan: [takes it] $10,000?! Who's Dr. Adrian Favershim, and why did he give you guys a check for ten grand?

Josh: [chuckles] We sold him Bobo.

Drake: Yep.

Megan: [shocked] You sold Bobo, to some stranger?!

Drake: Easy, don't worry.

Josh: Yeah, anybody who paid ten grand for an orangutan is gonna take good care of him.

[Megan begins quickly typing something]

Drake: What're you doing?

Megan: Doing a search on the guy who gave you this check!

Josh: Will you just relax?

Drake: Yeah, the guy's a doctor.

Megan: [finishes typing and reads] Dr. Adrian G. Favershim, former head of cardiology at the National Institute of Medicine in Cambodia.

Drake: Yeah, that's the guy.

Josh: See?

Megan: [continues reading] Fled the country after local authorities charged him with conspiracy to purchase and consume rare primates.

Drake: "Consume rare primates", what does that mean?

Josh: "Consume" means to eat...

Megan: And primates are mammals, like monkeys, chimps, and orangutans!

Drake: [to Josh, shocked] You sold Bobo to an orangutan eater?!

Josh: You sold Bobo to an orangutan eater!

[They both start to argue, until Megan quickly shuts them down]

Megan: Hey! Hey! HEY! Instead of arguing about Bobo, why don't you go save him?

Drake: Oh, right! [to Josh] Come on!


[The scene cuts to Dr. Favershim's apartment, where the doctor is in the kitchen preparing a meal. He takes a knife and sloppily cuts a celery stalk into slices, before turning to a giant pot on the stove]

Dr. Favershim: I've missed you, big lovely pot. It has been far too long. [turns back to his ingredients]

[Drake and Josh bust open Dr. Favershim's door, screaming and pointing at him]

Dr. Favershim: [unfazed] Come in.

Drake: We are in!

Josh: Yeah, and we want Bobo back.

Dr. Favershim: I'm sorry, we had a deal. $10,000 for your delicious friend.

Drake: Yeah well, deal's off.

Josh: So just take your check back and give us Bobo.

Dr. Favershim: Are you sure?

Drake: Yes.

Josh: Absolutely.

Dr. Favershim: Very well, Bobo is in the back of the closet right over there. [points to it] You may fetch him.

Josh: Back of the closet?

Dr. Favershim: Good.

Josh: Come on dude, let's go get him.

Drake: Whoa? Is he in here?

Josh: Perhaps.

Drake: In the coat, where is he?

[Dr. Favershim quickly sneaks behind and pushes them into the closet, locking them inside. Drake and Josh yell to be let out, as Dr. Favershim returns to the kitchen]

Dr. Favershim: I'm sorry, boys, but I can't let you interfere with my dinner plans. [takes off the curtain off of Bobo's cage] Hello, little friend. I hope you have good taste.

Josh: [inside the closet] You open the door or we're gonna call the cops!

Drake: [inside the closet] Yeah, we have a cellphone in here!

Dr. Favershim: You have no cellphone.

Josh: Do, too!

Dr. Favershim: Prove it.

Josh: How?

Dr. Favershim: Play me a ringtone.

[Josh plays a ringtone on his phone from the closet]

Drake: See? I told ya we got a cellphone!

Dr. Favershim: Does it have Bluetooth?

Josh: What?!?!

Dr. Favershim: Your cellphone, does it have Bluetooth?

Josh: Ya, dude, it has Bluetooth.

Dr. Favershim: I don't believe you, show me.

Josh: Fine! Then, open the door! [Dr. Favershim opens door] See, Bluetooth! Ha, ha! [Dr. Favershim pushes him back in, takes his phone, and locks the door again] What?! Oh, man!

Drake: Oh, nice goin', Bluetooth!

Josh: Don't start with me! [slaps Drake off-screen]

Drake: Ow!

[Dr. Favershim cuts slices of a carrot and takes a bite of it. He then walks up to Bobo, offering him a bite of the carrot as well]


Megan: Stay here, Bobo. [walks away] Boobs, you here?

Drake: Yeah!

Josh: We're in the closet!

Megan: Why are you guys in the closet?

Josh: 'Cause we love coat hangers...

Drake: Just unlock the door!

Megan: I'll unlock the door, on one condition.

Drake/Josh: No!/No condition!

Megan: Okay, see ya. [quickly stomps her feet in place, to pretend she's leaving]

Josh: Wait!

Megan: [smiles] Yes?

Josh: What's your condition?

Megan: First, we sell Bobo back to Stan the Car Man so he'll have a good home.

Josh: Okay.

Drake: And?

Megan: We buy the car I want.

Drake: NO WAY!

Josh: Not happening, little girl!

[Megan leans against the door, feeling pretty smug. The scene cuts to Josh driving in the yellow, flower tattooed VW Beetle, with Drake in the passenger seat and Megan in the back seat. He stops as an old lady is crossing the street with a walker, near a few kids playing hacky sack]

Kid: [recognizes them] Hey, hey, is that Drake and Josh?

Kid 2: Hey Drake and Josh, nice car! You guys going skirt shopping? [laughs]

Kid 3: [laughs] Nice car, "lady"!

[Megan chuckles to herself, as her brothers try to hide their faces, but to no avail]

Josh: [to the old lady, who finishes crossing] Get outta the way, now! [honks the horn]

Drake: [to Josh] Oh would ya just go, please?!

[Josh tries to go, but the car jerks forward with the brothers struggling to get moving. Megan rests her hands behind her head, savoring their humiliation]

Kid 3: [laughs] Learn how to drive!

[After a few tries, Josh manages to drive forward]

Josh: Oh, it's yellow!

[Despite driving away, the kids continue laughing at them as the episode ends]


Helen: [talking on the phone] No, no, it's not just a spatula, it's a titanium spatula. Yeah, titanium! Yeah, this thing can flip an omelet and stop a hockey puck. Oh, I'm serious! No baby, I've seen your spatula, and yours is not made of titanium. Yeah, they only sell them at the Pottery Barrel. Uh-huh! I'm telling you, I've had some good spatulas in my day, but this titanium is unsurpassed. Uh-huh, titanium. Alright, bye Gavin. [hangs up]