Drake and Josh Wiki

This article covers the transcript for the season 2 episode Movie Job.


[The episode opens with a screen showing Drake on his bedroom couch, playing his guitar]

Drake: [looks up from his guitar] So after dinner tonight, Mom tells me and Josh to do the dishes.

[Another screen shows Josh in the kitchen, washing the dishes]

Josh: You know, Drake's supposed to be helping me do these dishes. But i don't mind, I like working.

Drake: It's not that I have a problem with working, I just, choose not to.

Josh: To me, getting a job done, and done well, just feels good. I like doing dishes...

Drake: I like sleeping.

Josh: Raking leaves.

Drake: Playing guitar.

Josh: Doing homework.

Drake: Tricking Josh into doing my homework.

Josh: [removes his dishwashing gloves] Well, dishes are done.

Drake: [puts down his guitar] That's enough guitar for tonight.

Josh: On to my next activity... [grabs a broom]

Drake: Time for my next activity... [turns to a girl sitting beside him]

Josh: [flips it upwards] Hello, broomy. [begins sweeping the floor]

Drake: [puts his arm around her] Hello, Michelle. [she kisses his cheek]


[The scene cuts to a movie theater called the Premiere, where Drake and Josh enter the lobby after seeing a movie]

Josh: Wow, Cave Mom 2. How awesome?

Drake: So awesome!

Josh: I loved the way the director used light as symbol for redemption.

Drake: I loved the way the director used hot girls as a symbol for uh... hot girls. [a couple of girls pass by] And speaking of hot girls... [follows them]

[A theater employee walks by Josh, who decides to talk to him]

Josh: Oh uh, excuse me sir? Do you got a second? I just got to tell ya how great this movie theater is.

Crazy Steve: Yeah?

Josh: Oh, the movie, slamming'! The sound system, bumping'! The popcorn, dare I say, POPPING'!

Crazy Steve: [smiles] Well, thank you. Here at the Premiere, your comments are always welcome.

Josh: Yeah? Uh, the only thing you might want to check out is the uh, cup holder in C34C, it's a little wobbly.

Crazy Steve: Well, I'll get my toolkit and have a look at that just as soon as the next movie lets out.

Josh: Great.

Crazy Steve: Because, with all the pain, and hunger, and disease in the world, there's really no better use of my time than to make sure every blessed cup holder, IS ROCK SOLID STEADY! So that little whiny punk-holes like you, don't have to worry about your precious little lemonade being a TEENY BIT UNBALANCED!

Josh: [timidly] I had the fruit punch.

Crazy Steve: Well, FRUITY DOODY DOO! I QUIT! [gives Josh his vest and leaves]

[Josh holds the vest, unsure what to do with it until a customer approaches him]

Customer: Excuse me, where's Theater 7?

Josh: Huh?

Customer: Theater 7.

Josh: Oh, uh, uh no, I don't work here.

Customer: Sorry. [prepares to walk away]

Josh: Uh, but I come here all the time. [points the direction] Uh, Theater 7's through those doors, just hang a left.

Customer: Thanks. [walks away]

Josh: Yeah.

[A pair of nuns walk up to him from behind]

Nun: [taps his shoulder] Excuse me, son? Uh, what time does Buckets of Blood begin?

[A woman holding a clipboard from nearby, watches the interaction]

Josh: Well, there's a show at 7:50. But instead, might I recommend Headless Honeymoon? Way more blood.

Nun: [touches his arm, satisfied] Bless you. [walks off with her fellow nun]

Josh: Back at ya, sister!

[She makes a "back at ya" gesture to him, as the other nun looks unamused at her and they head inside the theater]

Helen: [walks up to Josh] Hey, do you work for me?

Josh: No.

Helen: Where did you get that vest?

Josh: Oh, uh, well, my cup holder was a little wobbly, uh, so I told this guy who then called me a punk-hole and then he kind of quit.

Helen: You made Crazy Steve quit?

Josh: You hired a guy named Crazy Steve?

Helen: Had to. Long story. Not pretty. I've been trying to fire him for two months, but he's just so...

Josh: Crazy?

Helen: Mm-hmm. Let me, uh, ask you something. Do you have a job?

Josh: No.

Helen: Are you, uh, alright in the head?

Josh: I think so.

Helen: Congratulations. You're hired.

Josh: What?!

Helen: Get to work! [walks away]

[Josh happily puts on the vest, as Drake returns with one of the girls from earlier]

Drake: [to the girl, as she leaves] Yeah, I might call you. [to Josh, seeing his vest] Why are you wearing that vest?

Josh: [smiles] I work here!

Drake: How long was I gone?

[The intro begins]


[After Drake sold movie tickets to Megan and her friends]

Helen: [appears] Uh, Drake? [Drake walks up to Helen] Did you just sell those little girls' tickets to a PG-13 movie?

Josh: Busted.

Drake: Uh, yes, I did Helen and... And I'll tell you why.

Helen: Why?

Drake: Well, I'm not going to lie to you. Those four kids? They're Norwegian.

Josh: What?!

Helen: It means they're from Norway!

Drake: Thank you. Now, as I'm sure you know, Norway is on the metric system.

Helen: Of course.

Drake: So, to a Norwegian, PG-13 is actually PG-9.

Helen: Yeah, I know. Metrics.

Drake: So, I didn't want to start an international incident.

Helen: Smart. Heads up move. I like your style, Drake. In fact, how would you like to be promoted to assistant manager?

Josh: Huh?

Drake: Alright.

Helen: Good. Just pick up your gold vest in my office. [leaves]

Drake: Assistant manager. Hey, this means I'm your boss. [walks up to Josh]

Josh: [yells] EVIL!


[Walter is sitting on the couch, as he grabs a honey bear bottle and a triceratops toy]

Walter: [talks with the honey bottle] Hi, aren't you the weatherman? [talks with the triceratops] Not just the weatherman, I'm the superhero WEATHERMAN! [makes swooshing sounds as he moves it around, unexpecting to see Megan and Audrey watching him from behind. Walter puts both items down and turns on the TV, crossing his arms in embarrassment]