Drake and Josh Wiki

Drake: Okay, all I'm saying is, the next time we need disguises, I'm getting them.

Josh: I told you, the costume shop was closed, the temple was open! And these are good disguises.

Drake: I don't even know what accent to talk with.

Josh: [hushed] It doesn't matter, just sound foreign.

Helen: [approaches them] Can I help you gentlemen find something?

Josh: [Irish accent] Top of the morning to ya, how are ya? Potata!

Helen: Potato?

Drake: [Irish accent] Come along, Pontiac.

Josh: Yes, let's go observe the mulberry bush. [walks away]

Drake: Oh, pip pip da doodly-doo! [follows Josh]

Helen: Pip pip da doodly-doo! [to Crazy Steve] I'm gonna start sayin' that. [walks away]

Josh: Hey, I just saw Megan go into the movie theater!

Drake: Let's go!

[Drake and Josh begin to follow Megan into the theater.]

Usher: Uh, tickets please.

[They both walk past the usher]

Drake: [Irish accent] Oh, we don't have tickets!

Josh: We must be catching our movie! Not the preview, da doodly-doo!


[The lady from earlier comes back, with Helen and Crazy Steve.]

Lady: [points to Drake and Josh] That's them, those two men from Ireland!

Helen: Stop the film! Horacio, stop the film!

Crazy Steve: [holding a baseball bat] WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?!?!

Corey: These two freaks just tried to steal my popcorn and then sat on my girlfriend!

Drake: Ah, she's too young to be having a boyfriend!

Josh: She's just a wee lass!

Drake: Wee!

Megan: Wait a minute... [pulls off Drake and Josh's fake beards] What are you two boobs doing here??

Corey: Who are they?

Megan: My idiot brothers.

Josh: [normal] Well it's a good thing your idiot brothers were here.

Drake: Yeah, this hooligan was about to kiss ya right on the mouth, [drops accent] and I don't have to be talking in this accent anymore do I?

Helen: Wait, so Drake and Josh just made up "Pip pip da doodly-doo?"

Crazy Steve: You have every right to be disappointed.

[Helen and Crazy Steve leave the auditorium]

Megan: Of course, he was trying to kiss me, that's the point! We've been dating for seven weeks, exclusively!

Corey: Maybe seven weeks is enough.

Megan: Huh?

Corey: Look, I'm sorry, but I don't think I want a girlfriend who comes from some kind of freakish family.

Megan: My family's not freakish. Just my brothers, and my dad. A little bit.

Corey: Look, whatever. I'm outta here. [leaves the auditorium]

[Megan turns around, not happy with Drake and Josh]

Drake: [sheepishly raises his hat] Pip pip?

Josh: [sheepishly] Doodly doo?

[Megan leaves the auditorium, as Drake and Josh feel guilty about ruining her date.]


Monica: Hey, boyfriend.

Corey: Monica!

Megan: [shocked] Who's Monica?!

Corey: I don't know! I've never even seen her before.

Megan: [getting angry] You just called her "Monica". Who is she?!

Monica: I used to be his girlfriend. [leaves the auditorium]

Corey: Come on, Megs. [tries putting his arm around Megan]

Megan: [slaps his arm away] We're done! [walks to Drake and Josh] Will you guys please drive me home?

Josh: Of course we will.

Drake: As soon as we teach Corey here a little lesson.

Josh: Yeah, the hard way! [removes his shoes]