Drake and Josh Wiki

[Flashback #1: in Josh's recollection]

Little Josh: Hey!

Little Drake: Hey.

Little Josh: I'm Josh, what's your name?

Little Drake: Drake.

Little Josh: I'm gonna buy a foam finger.

Little Drake: Um, could you not talk to me?

Little Josh: Ha-ha! You're funny. Wanna be friends?

Little Drake: If I say yes, will you stop talking to me?

Little Josh: Um, pardon me, but I think you're next in line.

Little Drake: Yeah, I know. [to a group of girls] Hey girls? Why don't you cut in you can all buy foam fingers.

[A group of little girls whoop while cutting and get in line to buy all the foam fingers]

Little Josh: Hey, no cutsies! Um, I was in line! [the little girls leave after buying almost all of the foam fingers] Ladies!

Little Drake: [to the cashier] Got any foam fingers left?

Lenny: Just one.

Little Drake: [satisfied] Good. I'll buy it. So he can't have it!

Little Josh: Heh?!

Lenny: Here you go, the last foam finger.

Little Drake: [to little Josh] Ha-ha! I got the last foam finger!

Little Josh: Daddy! [little Drake hits him] You thumped me!

Little Drake: Did not.

Little Josh: Daddy!

[Little Drake tackles Little Josh, causing a fight for the last foam finger]

Lenny: Cops! Cops!

[They continue fighting until the cops show up as Josh's recollection ends]

Josh: And then the cops had to come break it up!


[Flashback #2: in Drake's recollection]

Little Josh: [complaining] Hey! What the heck is taking so long?

Little Drake: Oh, don't worry. The line is moving pretty fast!

Little Josh: [complaining] Who asked you?

Lenny: Next in line!

Little Josh: He said, next in line! Get your butt out of your ears!

Little Drake: Oh, sorry!

Little Josh: Just hurry up!

[A little girl walks up to Drake and Josh]

Little Girl: [to little Drake] Pardon me sir, I have only three weeks to live. May I please cut in front of you? Every minute counts.

Little Josh: [complaining] Ah, for the love of crud!

Little Drake: Sure, go right ahead.

[Lenny gives the little girl a foam finger much to Little Drake's delight]

Little Girl: You're very kind. [leaves]

Little Drake: Uh, one foam finger please.

Lenny: Okay, it looks like that you got the last one.

Little Josh: [complaining] The last one?!

Little Drake: Sorry.

Little Josh: You're dead punk. [begins fighting with Little Drake, causing a fight for the last foam finger]

Lenny: Cops! Cops!

[They continue fighting until the cops show up to stop the fight as Drake's recollection ends]


[Flashback #3: in Lenny's recollection]

Lenny: The Padres were playing against the Giants, and I was selling foam fingers, it was late in the afternoon, these two boys get in line at the concession stand...

Audrey: Okay, Drake, here's some money, you get yourself a souvenir.

Little Drake: Thanks, mom.

Audrey: Megan! Are you hungry?

Little Megan: Yeah!

Audrey: Yes! You can have a cookie.

Little Megan: I am hungry!

Audrey: Take the cookie!

Little Josh: [walks up behind Drake] Hey.

Little Drake: Hey.

Little Josh: I'm Josh.

Little Drake: Drake.

Little Josh: I'm gonna buy a foam finger.

Little Drake: Me too.

Little Josh: Cool.

Lenny: Next in line.

Little Josh: Hey, you're up.

[Two little girls walk up behind the boys]

Little Girl: Hi, is it okay if we cut in front of you?

Little Drake: Cool with you?

Little Josh: Sure.

Little Drake: Go ahead.

Little Josh: You know, my dad's a weatherman.

Little Drake: My mom loves weathermen.

Little Girl: Thanks, bye. [leaves with the other little girl]

Little Drake: One foam finger, please.

Lenny: O... kay, it looks like you got the last one.

Little Josh: Aw, that's the last foam finger?

Little Drake: I'm really sorry.

Little Josh: Daddy! [little Megan throws the cookie at Josh's head] Aaah! You thumped me.

Little Drake: No, I didn't.

[They both start fighting again for the last foam finger]

Lenny: Cops! Cops!

[They continue fighting until the cops show up as Lenny's recollection ends]

Josh: So... It was Megan who started the fight.

Lenny: That's right, she threw the cookie.

Megan: [impressed] Wow, I was even cool then!

Drake: I can't believe it...

Audrey: Mr. Spodnick, we really appreciate you clearing this up for us.

Lenny: Oh, I'm just happy to help out. [to Walter] Oh um, the girl did mention a hundred dollars?

Walter: A hundred dollars?

Megan: Oh, just pay him.

[Walter pays Lenny $100]

Lenny: Thanks. My ex-wife ain't getting her paws on this. Well, I'd better get going. [heads to the door, but stops] Oh, I almost forgot. [pulls out a Padres bobblehead ahd hands it to Walter] I brought you a bobblehead. Live it up. [leaves]

Audrey: That was so nice of him to do that.

Walter: No, he took a hundred dollars from me!

Drake: [takes the bobblehead] Yeah well, I get a free bobblehead.

Josh: Hey, maybe I want the bobblehead.

Drake: I get the bobblehead.

Josh: You got the foam finger!

Drake: You ruined the foam finger!

Josh: I want the bobblehead, this is so unfair!

[Drake and Josh now argue over the bobblehead, to the family's utter annoyance. Fed up with their bickering, Walter and Audrey lead the two out the door, which Megan locks behind them]

Megan: [to Walter and Audrey] Who wants cornbread?

Audrey/Walter: Me!/I do!

[The three head back into the living room, as the scene cuts to Drake and Josh's bedroom. There, the brothers have finally reconciled from their fight]

Josh: Can you believe us? I mean, we've been fighting this whole week. We were fighting when we were eight years old.

Drake: Yeah, I wonder what it's gonna be like when we're 80.

Josh: [chuckles] Yeah.

[Flash forwarding 80 years, Drake and Josh imagine themselves and Megan as seniors, all old and cranky]

Elderly Josh: I am starving. [blows on his inhaler; an elderly Megan comes to bring them their bowls of food] Starving!

Elderly Drake: Yeah, where's Megan with our dinna?

Elderly Drake and Josh: Megaaaaan!

Elderly Megan: I'm comin', I'm comin'! Drake, here's your oatmeal. Josh, here's your cream of wheat. [gives them their bowls] Boobs! [walks away]

Elderly Josh: Wait! Wait-wait, I wanted the oatmeal.

Elderly Drake: No, you asked for the cream of wheat.

Elderly Josh: You gimme that oatmeal!

Elderly Drake: Over my dead body!

Elderly Josh: Fine! I can wait five minutes.

Elderly Drake: That's it! I'm eatin' on the other side of the room. [gets up]

Elderly Josh: Well, who needs ya? [gets up cracking his back, as Megan secretly throws a cookie at him and quickly escapes] You threw somethin' at me!

Elderly Drake: That's a lie!

Elderly Josh: It is on!

Elderly Drake: Oh, it's on!

Elderly Josh: It's go time!

Elderly Drake: I'll show you go time!

Elderly Josh: I am comin' at you, fast as lighting!

[Both fight until they fall asleep on the couch as the episode ends]