Drake and Josh Wiki

Eric: Who's the lady? [points to a middle-aged woman sitting by the fireplace]

Josh: Well, I thought you brought her.

Eric: No?

Josh: [approaches her, with Drake] Excuse me, but who are you?

[The woman only smiles in response]

Drake: Were you invited to this party?

[The woman suddenly shouts in angry gibberish and makes wild gestures, much to everyone's confusion and fear. As her gibberish becomes more aggressive, everyone quickly flees out the front door as the intro starts.]


[The doorbell rings]

Megan: I got it!

Audrey: Thanks, baby.

[Megan gets up and goes to answer the door]

Coach Remmers: Hey.

Megan: Hey.

Coach Remmers: I'm Drake's gym coach.

Megan: [sarcastic] Pretty exciting. [shouts] Drake, get down here!

[The scene cuts back to Drake's room, where the latter in spinning a hula hoop around his neck, on Josh's bed]

Drake: Hang on, I'm doing something really important!

[Cut back to living room]

Audrey: Megan, would you come help me... [enters the living room, seeing Coach Remmers] Hello.

Coach Remmers: Hi, I'm Drake's gym coach. [shakes her hand]

Audrey: Oh hi, I'm Drake's mom.

Coach Remmers: [pauses, stunned] You're his mother?

Audrey: Yeah, is something wrong?

Coach Remmers: Well, it's just that, Drake told me that when he was four years old, his parents were lost at sea.

Audrey: [shocked] Lost at sea?

Coach Remmers: [awkward] Yes ma'am, I uh, I thought you were dead.

Audrey: Drake told you...

Drake: [comes downstairs and sees his coach] Coach Remmers! [suddenly hugs Audrey] Mom, you're alive!

Audrey: Drake...

Drake: [hugging her] Just hold me!

Audrey: [pushes him off] Oh, stop it!

Coach Remmers: Anyway, I uh, just came by to let Drake know that he's failing gym.

Megan: [to Drake] How can you fail gym? All you have to do is show up!

Coach Remmers: Yeah. [to Audrey] There lies a problem... [shows a clipboard] You see, Drake hasn't shown up for gym class for several months.

Audrey: [shocked] Months?

Coach Remmers: [to Drake] And if you fail gym, you have to repeat 11th grade.

Drake: What? Dude, why didn't you tell me that earlier?

Coach Remmers: [angry] YOU NEVER COME TO CLASS!

Drake: Okay, okay. What if I come to class every day for the rest of the semester?

Coach Remmers: Too late, you still wouldn't have enough credits to pass.

Drake: [bummed] Man...

Coach Remmers: I'm uh, I'm sorry, son. Well I, guess I'd better go. [leaves]


Stage Manager: And the winners are: Drake Parker and Josh Nichols!

[The crowd goes wild as Drake and Josh hug each other in victory]

[The scene cuts to the living room, where Audrey and Megan finish watching their performance]

Audrey and Megan: [surprised] Oh. My. God.

[Scene returns to the contest]

Jackie: [runs up to Drake and Josh, screaming with glee] I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WOULD! You guys are so awesome! [kisses both brothers, and runs off squealing with joy]

Drake and Josh: [bewildered] Who is she?!

[The brothers immediately forget about her, smiling and bowing to the audience as the episode ends]