Drake and Josh Wiki

Thornton: What's up, Nichols?

Josh: Hey Thornton, how are you doing, man? I was just telling Steve about the unbelievable party you're having.

Thornton: Yeah, it's gonna be sweet.

Crazy Steve: Yes! You know, uh, I didn't receive an invitation.

Thornton: I don't know you?

Crazy Steve: YOUR LOSS! [runs off]

Thornton: What's his...

Josh: No one knows.

Thornton: Hey so, I'm trying to figure out what to put in all the gift bags for party guests.

Josh: Gift bags?

Thornton: Yeah, MTV's letting me spend 500 bucks per person. So, you think I should give out the underwater Geo? [shows Josh]

Josh: [excitedly yelps]

Thornton: Or the new Pocket

Josh: [yelps again]

Thornton: You know what, I'll just give everyone both.

Josh: [excitedly screams]

Thornton: Don't make those sounds at my party.

Josh: Sorry.

Thornton: Have you seen my girlfriend?

Josh: Diane?

Thornton: No, I broke up with Diane. Dating this new chick, Maria. Meeting here to see Daddy One Leg.

Josh: Oh cool, I heard they got really good... [sees Drake making out with Maria, just a few feet behind Thornton] Maria?

Thornton: Yeah. Brunette, really cute, about 5'2?

Josh: Uh...

Thornton: She was supposed to meet me here ten minutes ago, I don't know where she could be? [begins to turn around before Josh stops him]

Josh: [stammers] Are you sure should've broken up with that Diane girl? Cause she just seemed like a winner.

Thornton: She moved to Vermont...

Josh: You could move there too; I hear the trees are full of syrup!

Thornton: Thanks, but I think I'm gonna go find, [turns around to see Drake and Maria kissing] MARIA?!?

Maria: [separates from Drake] Thornton!

Josh: [pulls out a few popcorn buckets] Free popcorn???

Thornton: What are you doing, Parker?!

Drake: [oblivious] Kissing a girl. What are you doing?

Thornton: You were kissing, my GIRLFRIEND!

Drake: [gets up] Oh! You know, that reminds me of a funny story, actually...

Thornton: [to Maria] What's the matter with you?!

Maria: I'm sorry! He's just an awesome kisser.

Josh: Ah, no he's not, no he's not! Thornton, you're way better! Kiss her! [to Maria] Kiss him right now!

Thornton: No chance! [to Maria] We, are over!

Drake: Come on, Thornton...

Thornton: And you, you are uninvited to my birthday party!

Drake: What?! Hey, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I didn't know she was your girlfriend!

Josh: Yeah, he didn't know!

Thornton: You too, uninvited!

[Josh sobs hysterically at Drake, as Crazy Steve runs over to the group]

Crazy Steve: Excuse me! No yelling in the theater area.

[A lady comes up to Crazy Steve from behind, tapping his shoulder]

Customer: Excuse me, where's the lady's restroom?

Crazy Steve: [yells, scaring her off] I AM TALKING TO PEOPLE!!!

Thornton: UNINVITED!!! [storms out of the Premiere]

[Josh quietly sobs as Drake and Maria resume kissing, much to the former's irritation]


[The two immediately separate from the kiss, as the scene cuts to the brothers' bedroom.]